what you thought you knew but didn't

so it's been like a really long time since i lasted blog, i am 19 now almost 20 and i just finished high school, im planning on owning my own bakery with my boyfriend who i am engaged with. my life has gotten to be a lot better i've gotten closer with my family and gotten rid of my friends that didn't make me a good person tons of things have happen but are unimportant any more im ready for this fresh start that i have been given

the damn school blocked livejournal for some stupied reason, oh well. guess i'm bored. cya

im done i'm no longer gonna write blogs no one looks at them shit what great friends i have..not.

you know its weird. i feel so alone at times, i have justin, and all of my other friends but really i feel like they don't get me. i know justin does but the other people i just don't. like mike, todd, travis, kristina and so on. the past year i was so stupid, it wasn't me at all and it was sad when i would try to think how i used to be i just couldn't remember. the real me isn't mean, i used to never swear, i prayed and i was thankful and i was fair to everyone i knew. i didn't whine about my life. so why was i all of that in the last year. i feel like i was trying to be something that i'm not, to prove something stupid. i'm trying to change but will my old friends give me a chance? i feel like kristina no longer wants to be close friends her new best friend is emily my replacement. mike i feels lies to me a lot like i'm stupid or something. that i'm not as important to him as he is to me. that todd doesn't want to be good as friends as i do and that travis just wants to be school friends. i know he doesn't really know me...i don't know its just weird. i feel like i lost everything i once had. i'm trying to make up for the last year with my family. and things have been good because of it. i have no idea what was ment out of this blog or anything, i doubt anyone will look at this anyways. ~katie

things are going well for me. not so much drama and i have a job finally. it feels like i'm on the right road, and i'm doing good. me and j are great, he's amazing. everything i could ever ask for. and even though my family bit's butt their alright right now too. i've been able to hang out with the few friends i have, mike, todd, kristina, and mark. its been nice. my mind is on the futrue and for once i'm not scared for it to come i'm excited!  i have good friends, great boyfriend and a good future coming. i think i'm finally out of my depression, and no longer obsessing over the past, it just took time. even if the past still hurts its the past and thats were it should stay. got to go i'm on break lol. ~katie

well last thusday sucked. my mom got in a big fight and she ended up hitting me. but anyways its real hot and because of it, i'm sick. i keep getting sick, it sucks. hung out with a friend today. it was fun =)

well i am now starting to write in here again, i miss it and i liked using it. i don't have time to write another blog so i just have to copy the one i just wrote.

 

 i have so much in my mind but for some reason can't write it all out. brandons starting to get real old he's been telling people more lies about me. there not true and i can keep telling people that but they still wont believe me. i no longer want to be these people friends but for some reason no matter where i go their still there. once i delet these people from my life i wonder if it was a good idea and i start to feel lonely. i'm pretty sure once school starts it will be alot better, a lot of my old friends are there. hopefully they'll still talk to me concidering the fact that i pushed them out of my life because i thought aj and all of them were better which in the end i came out with only 2 good friends. i keep looking back at my jr year and think that that person wan't me at all. i was a strait up bitch that only whined and was down all the time. thats not me. i changed myself lied just to show them that i was good enough for their group. i know my seinor year will be way better. i learned from my mistakes and turning my life back on track. not that anyone will really read this but i had to put it out anyways.

well tomorrow is my birthday! i can't wait 18 year's old!! yup, and i have mono...this sucks cuz i have mono and tomorrow is my birthday and valentine's day...geez but, hey i'm not gonna let it get me down...nope i'm not, well back to bed for me..<3 ~kate

so yeah i didn't go to school today....i was going to, i even took a shower, got dress and did my hair...i sat down and felt really sick took my temp and it was high, finally woke up j and he sounded bad so i took his temp and his was high too. so i was going to go to school and have him stay home, but i was like ok im not gonna miss much and i feel so sick, im staying home..i asked my mom she said i could so i went back to bed. so i slept for most of the day, layed in bed and watched the wedding singer, and now i'm on here..thats about it.....so my mom came up to me last night saying..did you hear how nice your sistet is, i was like ok here we go what. she's like shes gonna pick you up that one weekend me and your dad are going down to oklahoma..(lucky people) i said i already knew that..she's so funny, she acts like i hate my sister which i don't, i can get real mad at her but i love her, shes my sister...theirs things i don't aprove of, which i think she knows. and sometimes i don't think she gets were im coming from, or understands what i do and why  do it....i mean, that one night earlier this month waking up hearing her and my mom talking saying stuff about me wasn't all that great...she has done stuff, lots that has hurt me, but also i know i have been the same, i guess im just sick of this whole thing...oh she did this, she did that, so yeah, i'm gonna let her see this so idk, she read it for herself..i like this whole being nice toeachother, and want to keep it. just laast night we had tons of fun, eating junk food and all lol.anyways, this war between us needs to stop...i want my sister back, not bitching at me, and haveing her call me a bitch, which i hope she does know, is that i look up to her, i'm even thinking about doing web design, (gal thinks i should too) not to copy her but to learn from her...ok thats part one...lol i have a lot to say..i read this thing in charlies's blog "i wish" anyways he was talking about how are group of friends only talks small talk, and should talk about deep stuff, which i agree...me and charlie have talked about important things which is awsome, i learned more about him, and realize we have a lot in common, i want that with all of my friends though...thats what friends are, you talk to them and their, there for you, they make you laugh too lol. ...anyways...im still upset about kristina tho, i don't even know if she cares about me, or wants to still be friends....everything i thought changed. a lot of that is happening lol, know were thinking of the idea that my mom gave us....we can stay here, and he can live here for another year, so know were trying to decided what we want to do, move out, or stay for one more year...idk, it's stressing me out. well tomorrow i get to try change my classes, now my creative writting teacher tells me the class is just for seniors and i can't be in there so i don't know what to do...school, and everything, way too much drama!!! i swear you can't get rid of it....can't people be nice and happy, and not spread romors and stuff around..no cuz it's too much fun i guess......im gonna go, do other stuff on here <3 kate